Covenant Marriage
John Scalzi's "Whatever" blog is hosting a good discussion about Covenant Marriage. After reading the whole thing, I realized I might have something to say myself on that subject after 35 years of marriage, and commented as follows:
"My wife and I were among the last virgins of the 60's generation at our wedding 35 years ago. We'd dated two and a half years, were deeply in love, though not as deeply as now, horny as all get out but wanting to do the right thing, and both quite serious about seeing our marriage ceremony as vows before God, and therefore not to be either made or violated lightly. We genuinely believed then, and still do today, that we were made to be together.
We've had lots of troubles along with our joys, but both know even in the bad moments that neither of us is leaving. Knowing we can trust each other's faithfulness even in times of trouble has multiplied our joy in life immeasurably. Sexually-transmitted illnesses, for instance, mean nothing to us, with or without "protection".
Our intentionally choosing to love God first, each other second, our son third, jobs and all else below that has helped keep us on track all those years. So has the idea of serving each other, rather than seeking to be served.
The most surprising aspect of all this is the sex -- far better now than when we were first married. I would never have believed that when I was 21."
If a state "Covenant Marriage" had been available when we wed, I expect we'd have chosen it. But only because its goals matched ones we already shared.
Update: It's not just me. According to this study, other men also have more satisfying sex lives in their 50s than in their 30s.
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